My best friend won’t come over anymore after I told her not to call my toddler a ‘spoiled brat’

A woman has taken to an advice forum to vent about how her best friend called her toddler a ‘spoiled brat’. 

And no, he wasn’t causing chaos at the shops, stomping and demanding that he MUST have a lolly or acting like satan the minute she told him it was time to leave. 

He was simply toddler-ing, in other words, crying. 

“I asked her not to call my kid that as I don’t want it to destroy his self-esteem”

Taking to the Am I The A**hole forum, the mom explained that her best friend is childless and hasn’t been around many kids before. 

Recently, she’s been spending a lot of time with her two-year-old, which means witnessing the full range of emotions toddlers experience such as going from happy to sad at the drop of a hat. 

“He screams and cries when he doesn’t get what he wants,” she says.

Standard toddler behavior, right?

A woman called her best friend's toddler a "spoiled brat" for normal toddler behavior.
A woman called her best friend’s toddler a “spoiled brat” for normal toddler behavior.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

Apparently not according to her friend. 

One day recently, the friend was around the toddler and told the OP he was a “spoiled brat”.

“I explained to her that he’s just two and is trying to regulate his emotions,” she says. “I then asked her not to call my kid a brat or any other names as I don’t want it to destroy his self-esteem.”

The mom then said that her son’s teachers always say he’s the “most well-behaved and happiest kid in his class.”

“He’s a toddler! Toddlers do that!”

At first, her friend apologized but then followed it up straight away with this pass-agg statement: “I guess I won’t come over anymore since you want to be mad about stupid things.”

After asking her friend not to call her son a brat, the friend had an aggravated response.
After asking her friend not to call her son a brat, the friend had an aggravated response.
Getty Images

When the OP tried to re-state her boundaries, explaining, “I’m not mad, just don’t call my kid names”, her friend didn’t seem to quite get it and proceeded to ignore her for the rest of the night. 

Now, the woman wants to know if she’s wrong for getting so upset about this. 

“It just makes me so sad to see someone calling my baby a ‘spoiled brat’ because he’s crying. He’s a toddler! Toddlers do that!” she concluded.

“That’s totally not okay”

Commenters swiftly made the mom aware that she was definitely not wrong for feeling upset about her friend’s comment. 

One of the top comments said, “‘I guess I won’t come over anymore'” – sounds like problem solved to me. She means it as a threat to make you say you’re happy for her to be rude to your child, but I’d take her at her words and not have her over again.”

Another chimed in, reiterating, “No… You are not wrong. That’s totally not okay.”

And a third blatantly called the OP’s friend “an a–hole.”

Then someone else suggested that there may be a deeper issue at play. “Her ‘be mad about stupid things’ response suggests that there’s something else going on than her just being slightly annoyed by your kid. Honestly sounds like she’s taking out some other issue on your relationship.”

“Some people step over the line when it’s not their kid, and there’s nothing wrong with reminding them that there are lines there. They’re your baby and you get to define the lines of appropriateness,” pointed out a different user. 

“She has some serious learning to do”

Other people took issue with the friend’s use of the term ‘spoilt brat’. 

One person wrote, “I don’t understand why they always go to ‘spoiled brat’ when a kid is having a tantrum or upset about something.

“It’s being spoiled or a brat when the kid tantrums and the parent says, ‘Okay stop crying and I’ll give you ice cream/a toy/the tablet etc’. That would be spoiling.

“You allowing your child to experience and learn to deal with their emotions is not ‘spoiling’ them.”

Then someone else agreed adding, “Any parent that calls your toddler a spoilt brat has some serious learning to do.”

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